June 2012
86 posts
The best part about snow white was….
I looked at all my old notes, letters, pictures…gosh things were so simple. So much people had faith in me that i will be a big star. Some where down the road I lost that light and put up walls of smiles and makeup to hide myself behind. If I would have never came to japan life would be so different. Some times I wonder why I am staying here. But I will move forward and fight for myself…I have to. People here … take advantage of me so much. Just think of all that could not happen if I would have stayed and think of how much I have to deal with everyday and how I still try to keep peace with everyone. Naturally I am not the strongest person. My body immune system has weaken ever since I came here. Maybe it is the air or all the smoke I am exposed to but I can not deal with body stress. It scares me to be here on my own. What if I collapse again? Can I trust that some one would get help for me? Would they know how to help me? Would they take my things as payment?
I just know that I can handle only so much and the stress that others have been giving me NEEDS TO GO.

I hate when I explain a problem to someone and a week later its like I never said anything at all.

Damn it. I sent you a message after you have been ignoring me for 2weeks.
urg. why do i have to be sick today.
When is the time to be in need.
When is the right time to be sad.
do I keep pushing these emotions away.
When is the time for you to hear me
When is will you ever understand
or feel the blood when its on your hands.
there is too much noise in my head